Where I stand

Most of my friends have very strong stances on issues; they support gay marriage, a woman’s right to choose, Sunday sales of alcohol, are against racism, are for change, believe in hope and have strong feelings on a host of other issues… I don’t.

I support three things in my life, just three.

How do you define support? Let’s say that abortion is something you feel strongly about what are you supposed to do? Because of geographic districting most of us live in uncompetitive state and federal House and Senate districts so your vote, and your “Stance” on an issue really doesn’t matter.

A lot of people say they support fiscal responsibility, but what does that really mean?

There are all these issues people feel strongly about but how often do you actually do anything about it? It’s great to sit around in a coffee shop, or someone’s house and argue passionately for your position but what does that amount to?

I support three things; The Lutheran Church, a free press and orphan care in Africa. I say I support those things because I invest my time and money in those things.

I was born Lutheran and will die a Lutheran. The church, and the people who make up the church have made me a better person. I donate my money and my time to making the church a stronger entity. I believe in it and I’ll fight for it.

When Southern Voice collapsed in 2009 I was one of the last employees who were there to turn out the lights. I was also one of the first people to volunteer to write for its successor Georgia Voice. I took a menial job I don’t care for in part so I could freelance for it and help the newspaper grow.

When I grew up my parents always used the threat, “You better finish that rutabaga because there are starving children in Africa who would be happy to have it.” My response was, “Well send it to Africa then,” and now I kinda do.

Through my church I met a man who changed my life. Together we have founded an organization that cares for orphans in Kenya, a country with almost 1 million AIDS orphans. Of those one million we care for forty, it’s not a huge number, it’s not enough to change the world or change the country, but its what I can do.

Today I’m leaving for my second trip to Kenya. We’re going to deliver medical supplies, blankets, audit the home and potentially search out a second site. I’m paying for mostly myself and it’s a pretty big strain on my personal finances. The trip is not without danger, and it’s not without reward either.

So ask yourself what you really support, really believe in and are willing to change the course of your life for? It’s probably not much, so you might as well make it something that matters.

The Cougar at the Bar

For years I have heard tell of the elusive urban cougar but until Friday I had never seen one in the wild.

After finishing a 13-hour marathon shift on Friday I went across the way to another restaurant because I wanted a drink and my first real food in over 24 hours. It was pretty quiet and I was one of two non-employees at the bar. Between talking with the bar tender and servers I know I started listening in on other guest at the bar.

Now I’m not exactly an expert on what makes a woman attractive but from what I can tell its being thin with nice hair. The woman was definitely older than me, maybe in her mid to late 40s, but was attractively dressed, thin and had dyed her blond so I think she was attractive?

Anyway, she was clearly calling an old flame that she hadn’t talked with in years, at 11 p.m. on a Friday night… the questions she was asking was like, “Hey, do you want to go out tonight?” “So what’s your status?” “So you’re available then.” She also gave pretty specific directions to where she lived now. Again, I’m not an expert on how straight people act, but it was pretty clear she was trying to get laid that night.

So I giggle with the bar tender about the conversation a bit and shortly after the Cougar gets off phone her attention turns to me.

“So you work across the way? That’s great.” She said. “Where do you go out when you go out.”

It was so obvious she was flirting with me and I had no clue what to say. Its like “Uhm, I like guys… a lot,” but I avoided going that route. I did think of trying to give her the number of a couple of straight guys who might be interested in what she was looking for but went a different route.

My phone buzzed and I was like, “Oh, that’s a text message from my boyfriend.”

Yes I’m still single but I figured that was the most polite way to let her down.

Also, yes the irony that the woman was probably closer to my age than the guy I’m “Not dating” is not lost on me.

The hole in the Ocean

Waiting tables is always a matter luck and numbers and all last week I didn’t have either. It’s incredibly frustrating to look around a busy restaurant and know that the people all around you are making money while you waste time and effort.

Last week I worked six consecutive miserable shifts. Shifts I should have made $100 I made $70, $50 and $23, and yes my declining attitude might have played a role in that but the numbers just weren’t there, and what numbers I had weren’t worth waiting on.

Friday day I had five tables, all parties of women, not a single man in the bunch of a three hour shift. My sales were only $250 and I made $25.

Friday night the restaurant was busy but I was not. Do to some people vastly over-estimating their party sizes my section sat empty for two hours and then when I did get tables they weren’t worth having. In total I had 12 tables, all parties of two. Yes, you can make money off a night like that, my sales were about $600 so I could have walked with around $90 for the shift but my four largest checks all tipped me under 10 percent so that shift was a waste.

My Saturday day shift was so horrible I begged to get out of my night shift because I was in such a miserable mood by that point I just wanted get out of the restaurant and clear my head. Over five hours I had eight tables with a total of 14 guests. You can’t make money off of that section and because the first three tables I had were women eating by themselves. My sales were again only $250 and I made $25. The most I could have potentially made was $40 or so after tip out.

Sunday was better, but still disappointing. I took some time before coming in, came in with a positive attitude and just focused on giving great service, and I did. Lots of people were thanking me, saying I did a great job and I got some great tips as result, the problem was it was all small dollar people who were tipping well. Basically I did half of my sales on four tables, and three of those four tipped 10 percent or less, including one family who I had a great connection with but they left me $7 on $112.

Nothing sucks worse than standing around in a restaurant not making money when you have bills to pay, and I’ve did that all last week. At this point I’m off Monday and Tuesday and I just have to hope that my luck turns by the time I come back to work on Wednesday.