So my roommate of over a year moved out the other weekend, which kinda sucks because I liked him. However, after going through some of the stuff that he left behind I wonder if I ever really knew him.
- A man-sized steal box that looks as if it has been buried and dented from the inside. See photo.
- A gallon milk jug with hand-written note reading, “Hooker Blood.” This raises a couple of disturbing questions like, did the hooker give her/his blood freely, and why store it in an unrefrigerated closet?
- His checkbook. I looked through some of the carbon copies and there seem to be suspiciously large amounts written to men with Russian last names. One check he even included, “Nuclear Material” in the memo line. Seriously, who buys illegal nuclear material via check? There were also checks made out to the three men who officiated Superbowl XL with “Pittsburg Victory” written in the memo line.
- Enough dog hair to build two dogs of my own.
- A shoebox with labeled "Cincinnati," with a post-it note reading, "Be careful this shit is admissible."
- A picture of himself on the Grassy Knoll with a time stamp of Nov. 22, 1963. In the picture he appears to he holding a rifle and standing in front of a time travel device.
- Seriously though… Charlie I have your checkbook and your cat.
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