The Cougar at the Bar

For years I have heard tell of the elusive urban cougar but until Friday I had never seen one in the wild.

After finishing a 13-hour marathon shift on Friday I went across the way to another restaurant because I wanted a drink and my first real food in over 24 hours. It was pretty quiet and I was one of two non-employees at the bar. Between talking with the bar tender and servers I know I started listening in on other guest at the bar.

Now I’m not exactly an expert on what makes a woman attractive but from what I can tell its being thin with nice hair. The woman was definitely older than me, maybe in her mid to late 40s, but was attractively dressed, thin and had dyed her blond so I think she was attractive?

Anyway, she was clearly calling an old flame that she hadn’t talked with in years, at 11 p.m. on a Friday night… the questions she was asking was like, “Hey, do you want to go out tonight?” “So what’s your status?” “So you’re available then.” She also gave pretty specific directions to where she lived now. Again, I’m not an expert on how straight people act, but it was pretty clear she was trying to get laid that night.

So I giggle with the bar tender about the conversation a bit and shortly after the Cougar gets off phone her attention turns to me.

“So you work across the way? That’s great.” She said. “Where do you go out when you go out.”

It was so obvious she was flirting with me and I had no clue what to say. Its like “Uhm, I like guys… a lot,” but I avoided going that route. I did think of trying to give her the number of a couple of straight guys who might be interested in what she was looking for but went a different route.

My phone buzzed and I was like, “Oh, that’s a text message from my boyfriend.”

Yes I’m still single but I figured that was the most polite way to let her down.

Also, yes the irony that the woman was probably closer to my age than the guy I’m “Not dating” is not lost on me.